Booger Keeping duh Fire Burning

“Now, I will be da furst to admit...dis iz not only fur da hoomins benefit! It duz, howefur, help keep dem warm in da winter months here in da Midwest. But, I keepz da fireplace going mostly fur me!!!! Az you can see, I sit right in front ob it and it keeps me nice and toasty warm!”

Tomz, dis iss won smart tom! Obsurf how Booger makes da hoomins tink dat he is heppin dem out, but he’z akshually da won who benefits da most. It iss purrfectly okay fur him too dew dis becuz it iss sech hard werk to keep a fire goin an sometimez yew efun hass to wakes up too dew it!

Futzel’s Plumbin Dootiez

“I am da resident plumber here in da Timmerman household. I check da bafroom sink EFURRY morning fur leaks. I also haz to check da watfur pressure of dis sink. Meowmie sayz I duz a FURRY gud job too. She turns on dis sink just a bit efurry morning when she goez in to get dressed fur wurk.”

“If she duzunt turn it on I jus lay in da sink to let her know dat it is time to check da watfur pressure. I also check da quality ob da watfur too!”

Dese Timmerman tomz is shur smart! Notise how Futzel be takin da dootie dat hasta be dun efurry day. Dat way da meowmie nefur furgits wot a gud tom he iss an he gits praize efurry day wifout fail. Hoomins tinks it furry funny whin a kitty duz da same ting efurry day at da same time, so Futzel bee makin da most of dat! We all noes dat hoomis haff ta be reminded to do tings ofur an ofur, so he’s bee doin dubble dooty. Furst he duz da plumbin werk an second, he bees remindin’ da meowmie whin it iss time too chek da watfur pressure. Futzel bees a hard werkin’ tom but he bees a smart werkin tom, two.

Sampson Doin Yard Werk

“Since I duzunt like to habe my picfur taken dis iz da only picfur we habe of me helping da hoomins. I wuz a WEE kitten in dis picfur. I wuz a stray befur Meowmie took me in. Dis picfur wuz taken when I furst came here. I used to help Meowmie and Fafur do da yard wurk ALLA time when I wuz outside. I duzunt get to help dem anymore since I duzunt get to go outside. In dis picfur I wuz taken a short rest cuz yard wurk is HARD wurk! I iz sitting dere waiting fur Meowmie to bring me a "nice cold one" frum da refrigerator!!!"

Hir iss a troo tom! He shud be enterin himseff in da Nipz Beer Drinkin’ Catest. Wot I admires about Sampson iss efun as a yung kitten he unnerstands dat it’s impurrtant to get da Meowmie to be yur slave an wate on yew at efurry opurrtoonitie. Also, hir iss anofur gud eggsample of dubble dooty. Notise how he picks da job dat he can’t dew no more cuz da meowmie won’t let him outside. Now he cin scratch an holler at da door an tell da meowmie dat he wonts too dew her yard werk. Den da meowmie luffs all ofur him and tellz Sampson wot a gud boy he iz fur wantin too hepp out, but he hass too stay inside an bees safe! Furry Klefur finking, Sampson!

Tomz, da Timmerman Tomz haz more gud tips fur us, but we’s goin to talk about dat in da nekst kolumn becuz I’s bee runnin outa space hir. Won ting yew cin be shur of dough is dat it is furry macho stuff!