Oh, when the gurlz get dumb and try to con me into some prissy froo-froo
And my hoomans are mad cuz I've just peed on their favorite shoe
Under the table, down at Pad-deeee's, yeah
With a tankard of my nipzbeer is where I'll be

Refrain:
(Under the table) out of the aisle
(Under the table) I'll be diskusting and vile
(Under the table) toms a-dancing above
(Under the table) no cares to speak of
Under the table (tay-bul!)

From the back you hear the bustling sounds of a busy kitchen
Mm-mm, I think I'm going to have to order some mouse crunchies again
Under the table, down at Pad-deeee's, yeah
With a tankard of my nipzbeer is where I'll be

Refrain:
(Under the table) out of the aisle
(Under the table) I'll be diskusting and vile
(Under the table) toms a-dancing above
(Under the table) no cares to speak of
Under the table (tay-bul!)

[instrumental break]

Meeeew, under the table, down at Pad-deeee's, yeah
With a tankard of my nipzbeer is where I'll be

Refrain:
(Under the table) out of the aisle
(Under the table) I'll be diskusting and vile
(Under the table) toms a-dancing above
(Under the table) no cares to speak of
Under the table (tay-bul!)