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Here are more BTTB winners; let's listen as Omar chats with them. |
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Omar: Your Meowmie has encouraged you to be polite, well-behaved tomz. Did she get mad/upset about your bad behaviour that earned you the BTTB?
Bandit: Mumfur wuz not surpised at all! She sed, "Yuse boyz iz bad to da bone and yuse lucky I don't take yuse to da Humane Society. But yuse my widdle boyz, and I cudn't tink uf lusin effur one uf yuse. I turned down a gud boyfurriend becuz yuse guys don't wants to muf."
Billy: Well Mumfur don't wants to muf effur. She gets purty upset a lot uf da time wif us. She can't wrap Cristmouse purresents until she's ready to go out da door. We take off da bows and hide dem and puts our scratch marks all offur dem. We just want Brandy, Granny and da Grandbabies to nose da purresents is frum us too. Go figure dat one, she signs her name, why can't we sign ours?
Omar: What one "bad thing" do you suggest all tomz resolve to do in 2005?
Bandit: Me and Billy lurned sumfing when Mumfur wuz taking care uf dose kitties dis last spring. She fed da kitties canned food because it wuz soft fur da kitties to eat. Well Billy got hooked on da Beef wif Gravy. Exsep he onliest likes da gravy part. So we slurp up da gravy and try to cover up da rest uf it just like sumfin in our box.
We (HEHEHE!) axadentally turn offur da can and it makes a mess fur Mumfur to clean up. Especially if she has been at wurk all day and it dries on da floor! She gets reeel red aftur dat! Den Bill begs fur treats, he is a big Baby to Mom, but a tuff Tom, din he goes and barfs on da carpet! (HEHEHE!) He reely has hur fooled. I used to, but she has me almost figured me out, she don't nose I has been teechin Billy to get him in truble. She just says is my Baby Boy sick, and he eats it up!
But let it be known, I still own da spot on Mumfurs bed by her side effury nite.
Omar: Yep. You tomz shure believe in bad ways!
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(Omar with Sheik Ollie Babble)
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Omar: You heard what Bandit and Billy just mewed. Is it at all like your experience when your meowmie found out you'd won?
Sheik Ollie Babble: My meowmie duznt get too madd at me when I am badd, I think she admiralates me because I am so bigg and strong and different. She did tell me knot to teech all my tricks to ::Zeus:: since he is already a badd kitten! MOL
Omar: What one "bad thing" do you suggest all tomz resolve to do in 2005?
Sheik Ollie Babble: My plann for da New Year is to try to shedd more aroun da house. I can pull
on my tail witt my big fangz and then shake it in differnt places. So far
der iz knot enuff black hair on da carpett to suit me. I luff bein a badd
example to da udder guyz, I am da Black Sheep uf da Ranch!
Omar: MOL MOL. Here comes Scooter. Wonder what he'll reveal.
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(Omar and Scooter)
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Omar: Your meowmie was overheard telling your daddy that you are a "sissy indoor boy" so they must be pretty astonished by your win.
Scooter: My meowmie wasn't very excited about my vomit-eating. She screamed and got all hissified like most gurlz. My daddy just said, "That's my boy!" My daddy usually stands behind my bad behavior and supports me because us guys have to stick together. We are outnumbered in this house and sometimes it's a misery living with all these gurlz.
Omar: Tell us, what one "bad thing" do you suggest all tomz resolve to do in 2005?
Scooter:
My newest bad thing that I did to meowmie just this past weekend was a work of
art as far as I'm concerned. Meowmie picked me up and was cuddling me on the
sofa where she had my massive and muscular body plopped on some pillows and her
arms around me. She nuzzled me and kissed me and scratched behind my ears and
told me all about Christmas and about how wonderful and handsome I am. All of
a sudden, she felt this "thing" on her arm. The "thing" was a sort of necklace
of turds that had come out of my butt and was still connected to my butt. It
was about six inches long and had little turd beads on it. My meowmie screamed
for daddy to come and take it off. Daddy got a tissue and pulled it off and I
mewed and then my meowmie had to fumigate herself. Tee-hee.
I think little surprises like that are a great way to remind your meowmie and daddy just who is in charge.
Omar: Well, you are the Chocolate Kiss King.
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(The Wicked Twins and Omar)
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Omar: Tell us about your meowmie's reaction to your BTTB award.
Dwnn: She just shrugged her shoulders. We've been redecorating her house and adding zest to her life since the night she brought us home from the shelter over eighteen years ago.
Taliesin: She's become quite blasé about our many achievements, alas.
Omar: What one "bad thing" do you suggest all tomz resolve to do in 2005?
Dwnn: Try to do a new, hitherto unimaginable to purrents, bad thing evfurry night while they sleep. They especially value noisy, noisome pranks in the middle of the night.
Taliesin: But don't bother to bring live mousies at 3:00 a.m. Meowmie wouldn't even stay awake long enough to help chase it!
Dwnn: Would you like to play a little poker, Omar?
Omar: I'll pass. Ferny warned me about playing poker with you, Dwnn! I'll just mosey over and see what those loving cats Mysty and Moke make of all this.
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Omar: Mysty, what are your thoughts about the answers you've just heard from membfurs of a klubb fur tomz who are purroud of being gross and disgusting? Are you empurrassed that your wink is a memfur?
Mysty: I think that Tomz are just little boys at heart crying fur attention. They THINK they are much grosser and more disgusting than they really are.
I think it is wonderpurr that Moke is a memfur of tomzrule®. I want him to do what he wants to do and if he can sew his wild oats with his budz that is great.
I always am a lady and Moke respects that and he nefur does anything empurrassing or gross around me. I luff him.
Omar: Moke, you're showing your tomzrule® purride by wearing the shirt you designed fur the klubb. Did you engage in new kinds of gross and disgusting behaviour in 2004?
Moke: I am always purroud to show I am a memfur of tomzrule®. Sometimes I don't need to wear the T-shirt to do so...teeheeeeee.
2004 has not been a good year fur our furmily. I no longer have anyone to disgust except fur my purrents.
As most of mew know when I moved in the house I thought the carpet was the grass and used it instead of a box...My purrents brought sod in and put it in my box so I learned to use it, but sometimes I still like the grass carpet. Espurrcially unfur Dad's chair. I get a kick out of him screaming if he gets wet feet, and I enjoy the expressions on his face as he gets the aroma of my endeavers with his morning coffee.
I also am a furry catsiderate kitty. Dad keeps his flashlight on the sideboard by the dining room table. I like to take it down at night and turn it on so meowmie doesn't trip in the dark when she gets up early. I can't unfurstand why she doesn't appurrciate my kindness to her.
Omar: Do you plan to excel your past crimes and misdemeanors in 2005?
Moke: We are getting a screen room and I have been catemplating all kinds of things to do in there in 2005. I have many ideas each one more gross than the next but since gurlz are reading this article I don't want to say what they are as the tattle tales might tell meowmie and spoil my furprises.
Omar: Mysty and Moke, you've purrvided some excellent reactions to the answers from the BTTB laureates. Thank you.
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We, along with all tomz, stand in awe of these bad behaviour achievements.
Lets continue to learn from each other in 2005.
This is Anchorcat Romeo. 'Bye fur now! |
Meet all winners of the Bentley Marlowe Bad to the Bone Award.
Visit Moke at Moke the Magnificent.
More interviews by Omar and Romeo.
| If you'd like to be interviewed for a future article, contact the Editors. You will need to supply a transparent graphic of yourself and companions suitably clothed for dining at the Terrace Cafe. |
Graphics by Auntie Doris, Auntie Barb, 2 Auntie Nancys, and Auntie Daphne.
Dialogue by Auntie Diane, Auntie Barb, Auntie Wes, Auntie Susan,
Auntie Sheila, 3 Auntie Nancys, and Auntie Daphne.
Krispy Kreme is the official doughnut of tomzrule®. Visit online.