Tell us how you happened to find your furevfur home. Were your sisfurs hissified when they first met you, or did they recognize your macho superiority right away?

I was about ten weeks old when I picked my meowmie. She came into the Lee County Animal Services and was looking for a boy kitty and I was fast asleep in my potty box.

The lady at the Animal Services brought me out and said, "What about this one?" And my meowmie held me and I put one gigantic paw on her cheek. She fell in love with me instantly. She and my daddy came to get me the next day and brought me home to my older sisfurs, Edwina, who is approximately 12 years old now, and Buffy, who is three years old now. Both of my sisfurs spent a lot of time watching me run around the house and Edwina did have to give me a slap every now and then, but mostly, they were very nice to me.

A year later, when my sisfur Muffin moved in, I spent a week hissing at her and even scared her so much that she peed in meowmie and daddy's bed. MOL! But now she is my closest fursib.

What advantages does having 22 toes give you: does it make it easier to jump on the kitchen counter and supervise family meals or swat your sisfurs?

My extra toes do not make for easy counter jumping. In fact, I am a bit of a klutz. It took me a long time to learn how to go backward on a windowsill. I can't get on the top levels of our perch because it seems that my toes won't grab right. But, the big feet are great for slapping your sisfurs and for taking stuff away from them.

Our meowmie says your description of the "Chocolate Kiss" one of the most disgusting things she's ever read -- we just want to pass on the catliment, mewhaha,

You give a lot of good etiquette advice for cats to follow on your website. Do you feel a special responsibility to help young tomz learn to be gross and disgusting memfurs of tomzrule?

When a Tom finds himself surrounded by gurlz and with no Tom role model in the house, he has to learn from some other Tom. That's why I joined Tomzrule. I wanted to be with other Tomz and do "boy" things and talk about gross stuff.

We apurrlogize fur asking the question that everycat must ask you, but we are cats and can't help being curious. How did you happen to become named Scooter von Hindenberg Hemingway Brown XXII?

Isn't it difficult to print all that on your cat license?

"Scooter" came from when I was a kitten and I would run into the kitchen and then my feets would come out from under me and I would slide across the tile floor. "von Hindenberg" is to conform with my meowmie's Teutonic motif; Buffy Schickelgruber, Muffin Saxe-Coburg und Gotha, Edwina Regina. "Hemingway" for the author because he's great and because he has the extra-toed cats in Key West. And "XXII" for the twenty-two toes!

We bet having a posh name like that makes it easier fur you to get away with mischief. What's the most disgusting thing you have ever done?

Do you have any special plans fur gross things to do soon?

It's so gross. Once one of my sisfurs threw up and I ate it. Yuk!

I haven't made any long-term plans fur grossness. Meowmie still hasn't gotten over the aforementioned disgusting thing. MOL

You say you have three sisters, Buffy, Muffin, and Edwina. Can you tell us more about them: Do they pester you or tattle about you to your purrents?

Muffin is the baby of the house and she does a little "kitten in distress" meow when she wants me. I have to come running to make sure she's OK.

Buffy does not respect me and she is always getting me into trouble with that big yapping mouth of hers. She can make more noise than any cat I know. I just look at her and she starts to squeal. Edwina is pretty easy to get along with and lets me be the Alpha Male as long as I don't mess with her too much. Then she will bop me on the head.

Mostly my sisfurs have to let me have my way since I outweigh each of them by a good ten pounds. I push them away from toys and snacks and they let me get away with it most of the time because I'm so handsome.

We're pleased to learn that your sisfurs bow down to your "Scooterness" mewhaha.

Do you enjoy going to Paddy's and sharing tips fur offending gurlz and disgusting purrents? Have you learned any gross and disgusting ideas while getting nipzed?

I don't go to Paddy's often, but I have picked up some tips from the guys about farting and peeing and belching.

You are a Red Sox fan. Is that because you live in Boston? Does someone watch the games on tv with you? Do you drink guzzle nipzbeer, eat pizza, and belch while watching?

I live in Cape Coral Florida, near the winter home of the Boston Red Sox, so that is why I like that team. My meowmie and daddy have been to some of the Spring Training games and even got to see them beat the Yankees once. When meowmie isn't looking I like to have a nipzbeer when I watch a game on TV and I can have pizza with Feline C/D on it. We were very upset in our house when the Red Sox didn't go to The Show.

Do you think your great grandmeowmie's fondness fur basketball has sparked a family interest in sports? Can you tell some more about her athletic days?

That was her athletic days. Actually, my great-grandmeowmie went to St. Mary's High School in Chelsea Michigan and she was the valedictorian. She also played basketball and got to wear a funny outfit. She was an RN for many years and loved cats and called them "A of G's," which stands for Angels of God.

What do you think is the most impurrtant thing a tom can do to express his tomly cattitude?

A Tom should have total disregard for his sisfurs and utmost confidence in his handsomeness and charismatic personality. When a Tom enters a room, all eyes should turn to him and everyone should think, "That's one damn fine Tom!"

Do you have any tips fur stinking up the litterbox and the whole house?

I think I covered that in my advice section about the "Air Bury". This seems to work tremendously well in my house. My enormous poops don't get buried and the stink permeates the area. Sometimes, a haze hangs just above the floor and carries my odor to the corners of the house. I have also been known to pee so copiously that the clumping litter can be removed in one piece from the box after one of my visits. MOL!

In short, do you have any advice fur young tomz to help them achieve their full potential?

First of all, take good care of your urinary tract. Word to the wise.

Second, if you have to fight to be Alpha Male, be sure you look like you're having fun while you do it.

Third, a head bonk to your sisfurs every now and then doesn't make you a sissy.

Thanks, Scooter, fur purrmitting us to infurvu you. See you on the Brofur Clubs Meows bulletin board!

Learn about Scooter, his furmily, and his useful etiquette advice at Scooter's page.