Dragon: Good ting dis bar iz heer to holdz me up. I tink dey musst haf putt sumfing in dat lass won. Whatz duh skore on duh cattest, Mac? Mr McTavish: Yeah, rite. Knot duh furst seven, MOL, juss "put sumfing" in duh lass won. Rite now, Dragon, dis iz duh skore: Sluggo and Bandit are tied at 13, wif Buddee, Royal, and Tang at 12, and Moke haz just finished his eleventh. Murff, who izzn't evfun a cattestant, haz drunk FOURTEEN and hazzn't stopped. Dragon: Wait, sumfingz goin on. Duh cattestants are gittin up; duh compurrtition muss be ovfur. Wait! Where are duh cattestants going? Ben, JJ, Murff -- whatz happening?
Mr McTavish: Yeah, rite. Knot duh furst seven, MOL, juss "put sumfing" in duh lass won. Rite now, Dragon, dis iz duh skore: Sluggo and Bandit are tied at 13, wif Buddee, Royal, and Tang at 12, and Moke haz just finished his eleventh. Murff, who izzn't evfun a cattestant, haz drunk FOURTEEN and hazzn't stopped.
Dragon: Wait, sumfingz goin on. Duh cattestants are gittin up; duh compurrtition muss be ovfur. Wait! Where are duh cattestants going? Ben, JJ, Murff -- whatz happening?
Murff: Dey suddenly all puttz dere paws ovfur dere mouffs and ran off. Dey are all wusses. Dat's what dey are. After 14 brewskis, I am bored wif mugs. Frume now own, I willz safe tyme by drinkin frume duh boddle.
JJ: Dey haz runned to duh "barf room" and frowed up. But knot us; we iz nowhere reddy to quit! Dough my hedd iz beginnin to feel odd -- like dere iz sumfin on it. Knot like it felt when I arrived.
Bentley: Yo, Murff! Dat makez yew duh winner! Unofficial fur duh compurrtition since yew weren't entered, but duh rekord books will haf mewr name in dem. My hedd feelz diffrent, two, JJ. Like sumfing iz gone; knot my branez, I hopez. MOL
Murff: Dat'z grate. Juss grate. Boyz, dis izzn't duh lass boddle, iz it? I hopez knot. Dat double-anchovy pizza has leff me furry thirsty.
A souvenir fur yew to copy and keep!
Outside Paddy's, Seeing Buddee off to his wedwinking ...