Feather-on-a-Stick

Brought to you by SassyJazmine

Rawr Rawr MERAW students! Thank you for attending today! This class will cover the basic rules and tricks to my favorite sport, Feather-on-a-Stick ! It may sound stupid, but it is actually very enjoyable, and our humans lose weight, especially that big swaying flab on their arms! Anyway, let's begin with reciting the Caterwaul Pledge.

Meow mew meow meow mew. Rawr meow.
Rawwarrarrr, Caterwaul siblings!

Very good, now this is a rather short class, more like a speech actually. So relax, chose your own donut and sit back. You will soon be given your own feather to take home, and to practice with during class.

What is "Feather-on-a-Stick" anyway?

Well, it is a fitness and fun game. It involves a human, but you can play with it with another cat or by yourself. It is played with a huge, fluffy feather, about as big as a peacock's feather. It can be fake or real, they both work real well. The feather is on the end of a long, mostly black stick. So, that is why it is called, Feather-on-a-Stick.

How do you play?

If you are using a human, then your human must hold the feather-on-a-stick by the stick end, and make it dance through the air. If you are playing the game to get rid of the flabby fat on your humans' arms, then you should get really frisky, make them keep that arm going wildly. If you are playing it just for fun, get frisky anyway, HEY, it's fun!

When you are dancing and wildly turning in the air trying to get the feather, practice one of my favorite maneuvers, the back flip. This seems to impress your human very much, and they will praise you greatly.

If you are playing it by yourself or with another cat, get your partner, or you, to get the feather stuck somewhere high, like on top of a desk or something. I use a desk, and sometimes, if I feel like playing lazily, I put it inside a basket and do it that way. Anyway, you have to try and get it down, then give it all you have, try and tear it up. Your humans can always buy another one. If you are playing with other cats, then whoever gets it down first wins. You can also wrestle for it when it's down.

What are the rules for "Feather-on-a-Stick"?

Well, there aren't many. They are more like morals than rules. But I will list the few below:

If you're playing with a human, it is good NOT to have more than three kitties playing at a time.

If you are playing with other kitties, it is good to have as many as you can get.

It doesn't matter if you tear the feather up.

If you tear up the feather see previous rule.

There are no more rules.

There are other Games you can play with a feather-on-a-stick besides Feather-on-a-Stick !

There are many other games. About three, actually:

• Dive Bomb- This game is to be played with at least two cats. It is played with as many feathers as you can find, all on sticks, strewn all over the room. You and your partners get up on high places, one cat to a place.
Example-Me on a desk, my partner on a shelf. Then you all dive bomb yourselves at the feathers. You get as many feathers as you can. The cat with the most feathers wins. This game gets YOU in shape.

• Hide-The-Feather- This game is like a game of Hide and Go Seek, but with a feather. You and some other cats get a feather, and the cat that is "it" goes and hides the feather. The other cats race around the house looking for the feather. Whoever gets it first has to fight to keep it with him/her. The other cats have to try and take it away from the lucky cat who found it before he/she gets to base.

• Bird's feather- This is like that game young human children play. Where they go, Doggy Doggy where's your bone, somebody stole it from your home... Well in this one at least four cats must play. A human can also play. This exercises the mind. You say, "Birdy, Birdy where's your feather, somebody stole it from your tail. Who could it be?" While the cat who is "it" turns around and closes his eyes, one of the other cats lies on top of the feather, hiding it completely under them. Then the cat who is it has to figure out who has it.

Those games aren't as exercising, but they are fun.

What if my human won't play?

Well, you can always bug them to death, until they give in and decide to give you attention! One way is to drag a feather out in front of them and set it at their feet. You can begin meowing loudly. If they ignore you, give them a clawless bat on the leg. (Note, CLAWLESS! Keep your claws in!) If they ignore that still, then start playing with the feather. Go crazy with it. They will think you are being "cute" and start playing with you. If all else fails, cop an attitude. Be mean to them, but don't bite them or scratch them. That will only anger them. Knock down something unbreakable. if you knock down something glass, they will probably put you outside, or yell at you. You don't want that.

Then when it is all over and you have had your fill of Feather-on-a-stick, you can always lay down and be adorable for your humans. They will think the whole thing was worth it.

Well, thank you for attending our class. I hope you learned something, and have fun with Feather-on-a-Stick. It's excellent for getting some good exercise, and it's fun!

The End