Halloween Pizza Monster

by Jordan

Da strangess fing happen to me lass Halloween. It were cold out; an', me an my sisfurs wuz roasts marchhmallows in da fires place. I haffed order a pizza wiff turkeymeat an' sammon; butt, it not getted dere, yet.

All of da suddens, A bigg wind come; an' our fires place jess blowed out!! Dat rite. Da fire gode aways; and, it getted many colds in our house....... an' kinda spookies!

Wells, da gurlz kinda cuddles arown me; butt, to tells da trufe, I wuz jess as many askaird as dey were.

Den.......a nock at da door!!

I almose furgetted dat we wuz eggspecking a pizza; soze, all da furs on myown tale getted many bigg!

Den Zena says, "Jordan, dat purrably our pizza!"

An' Scraps says, "Jordan, goze ansfur da dore!"

Neek not sayed anyfing. She luk to many askaird to mew!!

Soze, I gets up frum my comfy spot on da fires place rug; an', I goze to turns on da lites..........butt!! Dere no electricalicity!!

Dat meen NO LITES! Dat meen it many DARK! Now I reely gets askaird; butt, I da tom a da howse; soze, I noze it my job to lets da pizza kitty in.

I creeps offur to da frunt dore an' peeks outta da winder. Wat I seed is sumfing I wills neffur furgets, fur my hole nine lifes!

'stead a da pizza kitty, dere dis grate bigg hoomin (or almose hoomin) wiff dis long blak cape; butt, he holds our pizza; soze, I opens da dore. Da furs on my hole bak beez bigg, now.

Wen he open his mouf to speek, I ken seez dat he haff effun bigger fangies den I duz. I fink to myownself - "I shure hopes he not hungries".

Den he say, "Greetings, kitty. May I come in your house? Your pizza is getting cold out here."

He wuz many skairy luking; but, he wuz rite abowt da pizza; soze, I lets him in da howse. He luks at my sisfurs an' an me; an', he says "My, what tasty...um, er... lovely necks you all have."

I smarts enuff to noze dat dis no pizza kitty! I says to him, "how many tunas duz we owes mew?". I jess wanted him to leafs da pizza an' gets out!

He say, "This pizza is free, if I can stay and eat you.....er, I mean, stay and eat with you."

Wells, dat beed da finals straw! I puffs myself up so many biggs as I ken; an', I makes dis uglie face an start to growls. I growls so many lowd dat I almose skair myownself; butt, da bigg uglie hoomin jess stand dere an grins, wiff doze huge fangies luking sharpers den effur!

Jess as I wuz abowts to leep on dis monsfur, da frunt dore open up; an', myown meowmie come in. She say, "What's going on? Where are the lights? What happened to the fireplace?"

Nex fing I noze, dis bigg monsfur turn into a bat!! Dat rite, like a mousie wiff wings; an', he fly rite up our chiminee!!! He jess gone!!

My meowmie seez da gurls, all huddle togeffur; and, she say, "Jordan, have you been a bad boy? Why do your sisters look so scared?"

I says, "Meowmie! Dere dis bigg uglies monsfur!! He want to eats us!! He say we haff purdy necks!! He turn into a bat!!"

A course, meowmie not beliefs me; an', da gurlz still too many askaird to mew; soze, I get grownded fur makes up stories an' skairs my sisfurs. I did gets to eats da pizza, tho. It were many gud!

Mew aks wat I lern frum dis eggsperiens. Wells, I lern neffur to order a pizza on Halloween!!!!!!!!!!!

There have been many vampire movies, but Todd Browning's 1931 Dracula with Bela Lugosi evokes the image most common to movie lovers for 75 years. Lugosi's strangeness in manner and in delivery of his lines added to the creepiness. Dwight Frye's maniacal laughter as Renfield has made many viewers shiver in their seats.

The film is available in VHS and DVD, but purrhaps kitties shouldn't watch it without purrental supervision.

Trivia:   Lugosi, at his request, was buried in his black vampire cape.