Meowmie's Day Tribute by The Wicked Twins

There's a special bond between bad tomz and their meowmies!

The Wicked Twins, looking so, so innocent!
Still sitting in a little cage a whole week after being left in a box at the Humane Society shelter, we were astounded that no one had come by to adopt two winsome, 8-week-old brown tabby boys.

And not just any two boys. Us! Catsome, adorable, us! Sweet, innocent littermate boys!

True, some people have stopped to admire us, but the purrfect meowmie hasn't shown up. We sent the others away. We know exactly what sort of purrson we want to be our meowmie. Our demands aren't outrageous. And we're only looking fur the basics in meowmieness: extemely trainable and totally devoted to us.

We require a meowmie who ...

Awakes upon our mewing

Arises when nudged with a paw

Keeps food bowls full

Plays with us whenever we choose

Provides large amounts of catnip

Uses only 7.83% of bed when sleeping

Learns new tricks easily

Wait. Here's a possibility. Her eyes are leaky because she's just had to say "Good-bye" to Branwen, her beloved Russian Blue, who went to the Rainbow Bridge. She smells like someone who believes in window perches, catnip toys, and lots of tuna treats. Let's discuss this interesting new development.

Dwnn's Expectations

The ideal meowmie will spend vast quantities of time playing with me. This includes being awakened several times a night. She will relish our games of Hide and Seek and spend hours hunting the watches, rings, and bracelets that I steal from her. She will be so besotted with me that she won't even yell at me when she discovers that I hid her watch under the bath mat and that she stepped on it breaking the crystal.

Taliesin's Expectations

I want to be worshipped and adored. I want a meowmie who will take me for walks by holding me in her arms and going around the house with me so that I can swat at those few things too high for me to reach otherwise.

I want a meowmie who takes long baths so that I can get in the tub and enjoy paddling around. I want a meowmie who brings in fresh flowers that I can snack on and who puts the birdbath near the downstairs window so that I can chatter my jaws as I watch the cardinals, blue jays, song sparrows, mockingbirds, wrens, and juncos who stop there.

I want a meowmie who will sit still for hours when I am napping on her lap — even when her legs fall asleep.

Our Plans fur Meowmie

Caturally, we intend to help in every way we can to insure that our meowmie's life is happy and carefree.

We will keep her amused and happy and enable her to follow all the steps involved in our famous essay Meditation fur Hoomins.

We know that purrmitting her to pet and pamper us is the kindest thing a feline can do fur a purrson. She'll be so delighted because she knows that the only thing more wonderful that two wild and crazy boycats would be ...

Rub a dub dub, six kitties in a tub
Having six bad boys instead of two!

Alas, that is not an option since there are only the two of us. Guess we'll just have to be as naughty as six toms -mewhaha- and we are resolved to do that.

We Selected a Meowmie

So we agreed that this malleable looking purrson would be the purrfect meowmie, and we went home with her. We adjusted her schedule, redecorated her house, and helped her achieve her full potential as Meowmie of Twins.

You can learn a little more about the process on these pages:

Meowmie, however, seems to have aged quite a bit and to have taken up some bad habits since we moved in. Wonder why?

Happy Meowmie's Day!

Head bonks and whisker tickles and lots of loving purrs to all Meowmies (and Fahfurs, too) who love and care fur us kitties. Don't furget: when a cat kisses you, it's sincere.

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Credits:
Backgrounds from Bitsy's Boutique.